These days, things & feelings ain't very positive. I know, whatever i'm doing now, may ruin this relationship one day. Which i don't want to. But there are just something that i can't say it out. I don't know why.
Jena enlighten me alot today. With a long msg she send me, i kind of agree with it. This is what she sent me.
"Relationship comes in pieces.& this is what that pieced you up to be whole again. Compromising is important in a relationship & what it takes is to have a balance in everything you're commitment. I read a book about relationship before & i was enlightened by it. Women think emotionally & guys think practically. Just like how men tend to focus on one problem at a time, they also come to understand & consider problems one piece at a time. They are prone to fail appreciate subtleties that can be crucial to successful solution because they look as a whole & often miss out the small slightest thing that triggers the problem from the start. Whereas, women are born sensitive & we have stronger emotions that sometimes will be too overwhelming. We take care of little things too much till it hurts even when we think about how to mend it. Being alone is hard enough because human tends to not know what they want. So now, being in a relationship, is going to double this because whatever you do, it involved 2 lifestyles & habit. Don't be sad, don't be angry. Use this time wisely to cool down, hear each other out & think through & solve it. Said easier than done. But if no one gonna take the first step, who will? Be strong, be positive & compromise. I'll be your lending ear, secret memo & friends forever."
I've said nothing to her about what's happening. But from what she sees from our Facebook status, she seems to know whats going on. Everytime i'm down, her advise always lighten me abit. I'm really glad that i known her in this life. Thank you Jena.
Yes, boyfriend took the first step in talking to me. But i'm still the same. Kept quiet. Because my thoughts are fighting inside me. Because i'll break down if i start talking. Because i can't control my emotion. As much as i want to talk. I can't. As i've said, theres something in me that i should have let it out. But I just can't.
& i know, he always look at the big picture of everything.
I can only say that its good to look at the big picture of everything. But, sometimes i do feel that my feelings were neglected. At least, from my point of view, from how i feel.
Reached home after work, & i saw boyfriend posted picture of us when we went for our first kite flying together. & its like a cooling pill. My heart softened, & i literally smiled in front of my lappy while looking at the photo.
Then i opened the folder that contains all our photos. Sweet memories together, i still feel the sweetness & as i click to the next photo, i smiled as i remembered the times we spent.
Before we're together, My virgin experience hitting the club.
Our first outing after we're together. Just the 2 of us.
The first surprise gift you gave on the last day of 2009.
Our first outing that we can actually spend the whole day together.
As its very rare for us to have days like that.
Our first month anniversary. Sentosa to fulfil my wish.
Our first trip to Malaysia.
Airport. On my birthday. Its the first time that you're celebrating my birthday with me.
Our first 3D movie.
Our first trip to USS.
Our first kite flying session together with our very first kite.
Our first Halloween at Sentosa. First time you watched horror movie with me.
There's many first time spent together. I miss the times we spend together. I miss us. I miss you dear.
Alright, hitting 3am already. Shall sleep now. Goodnight.
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