Yes, i don't know why but i got this unexplainable sadness filling inside me. It just feels that my heart is crushing, it hurts with a little sour-ness.
Speaking up, can be a good & a bad thing. At least for me. When i speak up, others will know me a little more. But always, never fails to have some negative things in it. Which hit upon the other party. I don't want this to happen but its inevitable. This is life.
& the same feeling came back again. Seeing the end, thinking of the negative. Afraid that when things goes wrong & i'm not in time to pull you up, but its others. Sometimes, i can't help but think of this. When everything seems to be right, here it comes again. I never meant to let you feel the loneliness you feel. I never want it this way. Cause it hurts me each time you're down & yet, each time i can't be by your side. Each time i think of this, my head feels like its contracting. It tightened up. I don't know why but it just happened this way.
When i can, i don't understand that all you need is just me. When i can't, i can't be by your side.
Sigh.
Probably i'll be fine when i wake up in the morning.
I'm staying strong. Fighting this unexplainable sadness with all my laughters.
& i wish ...
* I miss you badly. *
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